3 months later......

Wow, went to the Health Visitor for babes 3 month check the other day & I realised that time is just flying by!!  And typically of me I have neglected by blog.  Tut Tut!!!!  This is just what I didn't want to happen.  So here I am, back on it....

So my last post was wrote 2 days before the big C-Section & the day our little man arrived into the world.  So the big thing on many minds was his expected talipes.  And yes, he has talipes on both feet just as predicted 20 weeks previous.  When I first met my beautiful boy I'm sad to admit that the joy was slightly tainted by the worry that I felt that there was something else wrong & how would this journey be.

Well 3 months on & I can say that my worries have become less & less although I don't think I'll be totally happy till his walking, running, jumping & hopping around!!!

Like the treatment for all talipes baby, or those lucky enough to receive the correct treatment, the first phase began with the casting.  This didn't begin till he was 4 weeks old which from my limited experience I think its quite late.  We made good progress with this & after just 5 casts that were changed on a weekly basis his little feet were ready for the tenotomy.  This is I feel, a rather barbaric procedure where the achilles tendon is cut, in order for the heel to drop, under a local anaesthetic.  Then back in casts for 3 long weeks while the scars heal & then into bar & boots.

We've been in the bar and boots now for almost 4 weeks & all is going well.

So there we are, now up to speed on the talipes journey which is made all the more easier because my little boy is a happy chap that keeps on smiling throughout!!!!

Gestational Diabetes Strikes

Shortly after the specialist scans it was detected at a routine test that I had developed gestational diabetes.  This can on many occasions be controlled by diet alone but it quickly became apparent that this was not going to happen for me.  So I was called into the local hospital to have my lesson in injecting insulin.  I have to say, that my initial fears quickly disappeared as it turns out the whole process was not as bad as I had envisaged.  In the majority of cases once you have given birth the diabetes will disappear so for now I am focusing on getting through the next 10 weeks the best way I can for our baby.

It had also been detected that I was very anaemic so was prescribed iron tablets.  No great event, but for me all these events that had materialised over the last 9 weeks had really begun to knock my confidence with the whole pregnancy and now, the looming delivery.

The good news of taking insulin for diabetes is that we got to receive another 2 scans to check the growth of the baby.  I was excited to see our little babe 2 more times on the big screen but it turns out its quite a lot harder to see when they are so squashed in there.

Also as an insulin user, the hospital were not happy for me to go to the full-time 40 weeks.  For me who has gone over my due date on my previous 2 pregnancies this was quite a relief.

All the talk of induction, sugar level concerns for myself and baby, chance of big baby my thoughts were turning to alternative methods of delivery.  So it was decided that I would be booked in for a caesarean at 38 weeks and 6 days.  If before that time, I go into spontaneous labour I'll let nature take its course.

I've never really thought too much about c-sections and I certainly have never judged anyone that has chosen this method.  I for one, at this time, do not feel a failure or any less of a woman to be taking this path.  I just want my baby to arrive in the world as quickly and stress-free as possible.

Incidently, baby number 3 is a boy.  Another beautiful boy to join my boy brood.

St. Georges Hospital - Part 2

We were to return to St. Georges 8 weeks later for another scan.  This time they were checking for signs of a progressive neurological disorder that is not detected from the amnio and can usually be identified at 28 weeks gestation by the baby's position and movements.  I'm not entirely sure of all the facts but I do know they were looking whether the baby's hands were clenched or not.  I of course, saw the baby's hands were clenched but the consultant soon told us the hands and muscle tone in all the limbs appeared normal.  We are still looking at a case of "isolated" talipes.  Perhaps I don't know as much about these medical things as I thought!!!!!

We left the hospital that day with a spring in our step.  The baby's growth seemed to be going well and all the results were in our favour.  Could I possibly trust the professionals and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy without a worry?

No........

St. Georges Hospital, London

Our specialist scan was arranged for a week a later at St. Georges with apparently the best consultant in Europe.  I'm not sure if this is exactly true or whether I was told this to make me feel better. 

The weeks wait until our appointment was a dark one.  I went through so many emotions and went from feeling positive to negative and back to positive every hour.  The conclusion that I did come to during this week is that if we face the best scenario of a case of isolated talipes than we are lucky.  Compared to the numerous and countless syndromes that affect so many others I will happily take talipes any day.  I've also found out, not for the first time in our 15 years together, that my husband is my rock.  He is my positive, supportive and stable rock!!

The scan day eventually arrived and the initial emotion was relief as the consultant checked off healthy organs on our growing baby.  He checked, measured and checked, the brain, spine, heart, kidneys and many more.  The only indicator he could see was the little wonky feet.  A case of he felt, isolated talipes.  I did however choose to have the amniocentisis.  A decision that not everyone may agree with because of the risks involved.  But a personal decision and one that for me, was essential to be able to come to term with what may lie ahead.

So the relief I felt in the scan room soon turned to more worry while we waited the 2 weeks for the amniocentisis results.  After what seemed like an eternity, the results were finally in and all was appeared good.  No abnormalities had been detected.  This is huge but my relief was irritatingly short-lived as I began to question the what if "something" wasn't tested and picked up.  My nagging doubt that all is not well was still there and it was scaring me as I would normally listen to my inner voice.  Luckily I took huge comfort from someone very close to me who told me my nagging feeling was right as all is not quite right but we know what it is and it is TREATABLE!!!

This became my daily mantra.

So why this blog?

The thought of writing this for all the world to see makes me feel, almost naked!  I've often imagined writing a blog but never really knew what to write about and to be honest, I can't imagine my life to be of much interest anyway.

But hey, like everything in life I've decided to just give it a go!

I am as of today, 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant with my 3rd baby.  You may think a 3rd time Mum must be quite a pro but no, that's definitely not how I feel.  And that is the reason I finally decided to take the plunge and join in with the blogging world.

You see the pregnancy began like the other 2, morning sickness, tiredness and all the other joys.  But there was always a nagging feeling in my mind that perhaps I was being a little greedy having 3 children.  Could I really be that lucky to have 3 healthy children?  I began to worry that something was wrong my growing child.

The 12 week scan came and all was well.  The physical symptoms of pregnancy improved but I still, felt low and emotional and the nagging worry remained.

The 20 week scan came and putting my worries aside I was excited to see our baby for a second time and discover if this one was a girl or boy.  The sonographer was thorough, I began to feel she was being "very" thorough.  And at the end when everything had been checked she told us there was a problem with the baby's feet.  My heart sank!  She explained it looked like talipes.  I asked what that was.  She explained its also known as clubfeet.  I'd heard of that, my heart sank further and I cried.  The first of many tears over the next 20 weeks.  She left the room and came back with her senior who confirmed that yes, it appeared the baby had bilateral talipes, that is both the feet were affected.  It was then explained that in some occasions talipes can be an indicator of a more serious condition so we would be sent for a specialist scan.  But today, we were told that we should go home and not to worry!  Now "not to worry" tends to not be in my nature at the best of times so in this instance I will DEFINITELY be worrying!

The first mistake I made was to turn to the font of all knowledge, aka Google!!!  This was a very bad thing to do as it was full of horror stories and negativity.  The one good thing that came from my Google searching was that I stumbled across a few blogs wrote by Mums who also had a talipes baby.  Mums who had been in the situation that I was now going through.  For this I am eternally grateful, for the words of these Mums have provided me with hope, inspiration and reassurance for the journey that lay ahead.  It is for this reason that I have decided to share my journey that has not yet, really begun and if I can reach one Mum that has been told the news that I was and be able to offer a little ray of hope than I feel the time I've spent typing these words have been more than worthwhile.

I have to cut this short as kitchen duties are required.  But I'll be back with news of our next scan.......